I have never had a dog before getting Scruffy in May. I had always wanted a dog when I was little but by the time I was born (14 years after my sister) I think my mom and dad had already had enough of pets and kids !!!
Then when we first got married we were both out at work full time, first baby takes up enough time, second baby within two years, moved house and so on ..........
Wanting a dog had got pushed so far back I had forgotten how much I wanted one - until February.
Its been a bit of a year, in February I found a lump - a huge lump, the GP rushed me through the system to a hospital appointment the next week. A week that felt like 6 months, the good news - the lump was a large cyst that was drained - the bad news was that during the mammogram and ultrasound they found another small lump that concerned them .
A biopsy was arranged, attended and 6 weeks after finding the lump the all clear was given - phew !!!
That six weeks was such an intense time of thoughts and fears, hope and strength. Most of the time I was confident that I would be fine but other times (especially in the dark in the early hours of the morning) the world seemed very very scary.
I've always had lots of plans and ideas for the future, things I want to do, places I want to go but none of these even crossed my mind when i thought of the future.
My biggest fear was obviously leaving hubby and not seeing the kids grow up - something I know a lot of people have to face but for me - too painful to even contemplate - but the only other thing that kept coming into my head was "I've always wanted a dog and I've never got to have one." I didnt realise how important to me it was, I must have buried the longing so deep that I had forgotten it.
I decided that "when" I was given the all clear it would be a priority. The kids were thrilled when we chose our puppy - a tibetan terrier. I'd met one at a cricket match and fell in love so I knew that if I did ever have a dog it would be one of these.
I love my doggy so much and cant believe he is nearly seven months old - when we contacted the breeder about the puppies we found out that they had been born on March 15th - the day before my birthday ! So we are both pisces (Do dogs have astological signs ???)
We have had our moments with him and we are still learning every day, but hes now such a big part of all our lives I wouldnt want to live without him.
I hope you dont mind me whittering on, I find it cathartic to write things down and I've been bottling things up - most of the family dont even know about it - I know I am so so lucky to have not had the dreaded C and I do feel blessed but I think that anything we experience thats so intense , even for such a short time, changes a part of us for ever.
I look at Scruffy and I see that we should all have and do what we want without delaying - we never know what is round the corner and we might be very very lucky like me or we might not ......
So today my bloggy buddies think of one thing that you have been putting off and take steps to make it happen - book that holiday, theatre tickets, flying lesson , cordon bleu cookery course . . .
I'm going to look for a holiday cottage to rent in the north east - I've always wanted to see Scarborough , Whitby etc so next March here we come (fingers crossed)