Then when we first got married we were both out at work full time, first baby takes up enough time, second baby within two years, moved house and so on ..........
Wanting a dog had got pushed so far back I had forgotten how much I wanted one - until February.
Its been a bit of a year, in February I found a lump - a huge lump, the GP rushed me through the system to a hospital appointment the next week. A week that felt like 6 months, the good news - the lump was a large cyst that was drained - the bad news was that during the mammogram and ultrasound they found another small lump that concerned them .
A biopsy was arranged, attended and 6 weeks after finding the lump the all clear was given - phew !!!
That six weeks was such an intense time of thoughts and fears, hope and strength. Most of the time I was confident that I would be fine but other times (especially in the dark in the early hours of the morning) the world seemed very very scary.
I've always had lots of plans and ideas for the future, things I want to do, places I want to go but none of these even crossed my mind when i thought of the future.
My biggest fear was obviously leaving hubby and not seeing the kids grow up - something I know a lot of people have to face but for me - too painful to even contemplate - but the only other thing that kept coming into my head was "I've always wanted a dog and I've never got to have one." I didnt realise how important to me it was, I must have buried the longing so deep that I had forgotten it.
I decided that "when" I was given the all clear it would be a priority. The kids were thrilled when we chose our puppy - a tibetan terrier. I'd met one at a cricket match and fell in love so I knew that if I did ever have a dog it would be one of these.
I love my doggy so much and cant believe he is nearly seven months old - when we contacted the breeder about the puppies we found out that they had been born on March 15th - the day before my birthday ! So we are both pisces (Do dogs have astological signs ???)
We have had our moments with him and we are still learning every day, but hes now such a big part of all our lives I wouldnt want to live without him.
I hope you dont mind me whittering on, I find it cathartic to write things down and I've been bottling things up - most of the family dont even know about it - I know I am so so lucky to have not had the dreaded C and I do feel blessed but I think that anything we experience thats so intense , even for such a short time, changes a part of us for ever.
I look at Scruffy and I see that we should all have and do what we want without delaying - we never know what is round the corner and we might be very very lucky like me or we might not ......
So today my bloggy buddies think of one thing that you have been putting off and take steps to make it happen - book that holiday, theatre tickets, flying lesson , cordon bleu cookery course . . .
I'm going to look for a holiday cottage to rent in the north east - I've always wanted to see Scarborough , Whitby etc so next March here we come (fingers crossed)
XX
13 comments:
Wow, that was an amazing post. Firstly, I'm so glad you got through that health scare, it must have been very confronting. I love that you finally got your doggie, as a dog person I couldn't live without one, or two! And finally, thanks for giving me a shove in the right direction. Just before I read your post I was contemplating returning to study...maybe now I will! xo
I'm very glad to hear that you got the all clear for what clearly was a very scary time for you all. Now you can all look to the future. Your little doggie is so cute - he looks a proper cheeky chappie! :)
What a wonderful post. I'm so thrilled you got the all clear. Long may good health continue.
You dog is lovely, he looks like a cheeky scamp.
A very inspiring post and so pleased that it turned out to be good news. Your dog is scrummy and looks to be a real character.
Have a happy day. :-)
Firstly i was so sorry to hear of your health scare its a very frigtening time no matter how it turns out. The wonderful thing is that you took the experience and turned it into a positive and your dog is just gorg and yummy ;-) And i think its great to write things down sometimes it good and helps to deal with what happened or is happening. Thank you for sharing. Enjoy your lovely family..Dee ;-)) x
I had a scare similar to yours just before I got my first retriever.I'm so glad that those anxious times are behind you and your dream of owning a dog has finally come true.You will never know such unconditional love as the kind you will receive from your Scruffy.He's gorgeous btw! :o)
So glad to hear that you are ok. What a gorgeous doggy. I keep wondering about getting a dog, even more so now that I've heard that dogs can be beneficial for autistic children. Hubby's really not keen though so I don't think it'll be happening any time soon.
Glad you are OK...I tried to encourage averyone I know during October to 'Feel your Boobies!' Hee hee!
Getting my dog Basil was one of the best things I did for my little family too. We have only had him since the Summer and I couldn't imagine life without him now.
I am going to buy a caravan...that is what I shall do! You have said I am to do it, so I shall blame you when I'm broken down on the motorway next Summer! xxx
He's adorable, glad you finally got rhe doggie of your dreams. It's amazing how much dogs become part of the family. I couldn't be without my little Lily or my mum's three terrors x
Thankyou for the comments on my Blog.
Yes we did have a good laugh, we tend to go around together in the same cicuit, so we know each other well:)
love
Michelle x
So sorry to hear about your very worrying heath scare.So pleased all was well in the end! A very similar thing happened to us, my husband lost a bit if sight in one eye overnight. The consultant thought hubby was at risk if stroke or heart attack,but as he is slim, fit and a non smoker it was all very unusual!It was a very worrying time! Anyway all the tests came back clear and he was given a clean bill of health, except for the beginning of glaucoma in one eye Thankfully this is controlled with eyedrops that are taken daily!
But like you, I thought it's about time to do things we've been puttin off so we got a dog too! The lovely Wilson! I'm so glad we got him, he 's so funny he makes us laugh every day! I bet scruffy does that to you too!
He looks a real character!
Thank you for sharing!
Rachel x
I'm so glad you didn't bottle that up. I found it really helpful to read for a number of reasons - thanks.
Our doggie was adopted when Son 1 was going through a terrible time, and she certainly helped him to pull through.
In terms of not putting things off, I've got next year's diary and am noting down now what I feel sorry to have missed this year, e.g. 'June - Find out when Festival is on and book tickets' or 'Sept - Visit Open Garden this month' etc. I'm hoping that I'll find it easy to do exciting things having planned them way ahead of time!
So thanks again for sharing your story, and I am really, really glad that it has all worked out well for you. You were certainly on my mind while you were out of blogland.
I'm so glad you came over and left a comment, I hadn't realised you'd started blogging again. I'm so pleased that you've recovered from a very scary time. Stay well and enjoy your walks with the dog.
Tracey
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